Have you ever heard that the tongue is the hardest muscle to control? Whoever said that must have lived with a family like mine. We’re a bunch of good-natured teasers. My mom, my sister, my kids, even Joe. If one of us walks into a room with mismatched shoes, you can bet someone is going to point it out with a grin. We all mean well, and most of the time, everyone laughs because we get each other’s humor.

But every now and then, a comment lands the wrong way. Maybe someone’s had a tough day. Maybe the joke hit a tender spot. And suddenly the room isn’t as lighthearted as we intended.

My mom won’t even leave comments on my blog because she’s convinced someone will take her humor the wrong way. She’s probably right. What feels playful inside a family can sound plain mean in print, especially when people can’t hear your tone or see you smiling.

All that to say, words are powerful. And even joking words can leave a bruise.

The “Oops, I Wish I Could Take That Back” Moments

I don’t know about you, but I have had plenty of moments when something popped out of my mouth before my brain fully clocked in for the day. Sometimes I knew instantly that I’d crossed a line because you can see it… right there in the person’s eyes. Hurt lands quick.

And then there are the times we slip into tit-for-tat mode. They said something first, we fire something back, and suddenly everyone is acting like they’re on an episode of old-school Pee Wee Herman.
I know you are, but what am I?
Lord, help me. If immaturity burned calories, I’d be a size 2 by now.

Whether it’s teasing, venting, or a moment of wounded pride, the intention doesn’t erase the impact. Hurt is still hurt.

Gossip: The Tongue’s Favorite Pastime

Another area where the tongue gets into trouble is gossip. It starts small. You hear something “interesting” and decide to pass it along… but you add, “Now I don’t know if this is true…” like that makes it morally neutral.

It doesn’t.

It reminds me of that game where people whisper a sentence down a line. By the time it comes out the other end, the story has gone from “the dog barked” to “the neighbor’s llama eloped with the UPS driver.” That’s exactly what gossip does: twists, grows, and damages.

The Little Phrase That Doesn’t Sit Right With Me

Lately, I’ve been seeing shirts and mugs that say, “I love Jesus but I cuss a little,” and something about it makes me squirm.

Maybe it’s because I’ve been guilty of that very thing. Maybe it’s because I’ve never once walked away from a moment of cussing thinking, “Wow, I’m so glad I said that.” Not once.

Just last week, I muttered something under my breath and immediately wished I hadn’t. It’s that familiar sinking feeling of, “Well… that could have been said better.”

What Scripture Says About Our Words

James 3:7–12 (NIV) lays it out plainly:

⁷ All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, ⁸ but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.
⁹ With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. ¹⁰ Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. ¹¹ Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? ¹² My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.

That passage hits hard every time. We use the same mouth to sing praises and to tear down. And while none of us are perfect, Scripture is clear that our words reveal our heart.

So What Do We Do?

We try.

We get intentional.

We slow down before speaking, especially when we’re joking or feeling snarky. Teasing can be fun, but kindness should always lead. And when we slip up, which we will, we confess it quickly. We ask for forgiveness from God and from the person we hurt, and then we move forward.

We don’t have to be perfect to make progress. We just need to be aware and willing.

And maybe, just maybe, we retire our inner Pee Wee Herman.

To GOD Goes The Glory!

Have A Blessed Day!

Let’s End With a Prayer

Lord, help me pay attention to the words I speak. Give me a gentle heart and a wise tongue, especially when I’m joking or frustrated. Show me the moments when my words land harder than I meant them to, and give me the courage to apologize quickly. May my mouth bring life, not hurt, and may Your love be heard in everything I say. Amen.