You Are Set Apart For A Reason
Last week, my Sunday post was about tests. The testing that the Lord might put us through to grow spiritually and personally. Some tests work on our character, attitude, compassion, and empathy. Other tests can work on things you might struggle with, and for me, it is strength. I’m not talking about the kind of strength needed to lift weights, but the kind of strength it takes when you are set apart.
Maybe some of my shy readers can understand what I’m talking about. I don’t like going anywhere by myself. I prefer to have a friend along to talk to, and it is even better if that friend is outgoing. They have no problem talking to everyone and asking all the questions I’m too shy to ask, and people gravitate to them like flies.
Being Set Apart Is Not Fun
For some reason, I don’t think the Lord wants that for me. I’ve had a couple of great friends in my life. The ones that you can call every day and talk to for hours on the phone. “Want to go grab lunch?” “How about going to get a mani-pedi?” “Feel like going shopping?” Yes, yes, and yes!!!
For reasons beyond my control, each friend has been taken from my life. Each time, I have grieved, and each time, I’ve been left with an empty spot in my life. Every time I saw an FB post of my friends going to lunch, shopping, or taking trips without me, the pain would once again be fresh.
I cried more tears than I can remember, and I asked the Lord over and over why this always happened. At that time, it never occurred to me that He could be trying to teach me a lesson. One that I’ve resisted with all my heart and one that has been in place for many years. It seems like the longer you resist, the longer the test will continue.
16 Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted.
17 Relieve the troubles of my heart and free me from my anguish.
I know the Lord hears me, I know He loves me, and I don’t think this is a punishment. It is a life lesson that I am slowly coming to terms with. Do I like it…NO! But I’m finding out that I am stronger than I thought. I have learned to lean into the Lord for strength. He doesn’t forsake me, no matter the circumstances.
Over the years, I have also grown personally. I can now get my mani-pedi without a friend next to me. Shopping obviously isn’t an issue for me any longer, and I’ve even traveled on a plane all by myself. Even with all the gains I’ve made, I still felt like David, lonely and troubled.
The Gifts Of Being Set Apart
Recently, I read a devotional about being set apart. I had been looking at my alone time as a time-out. I felt like I was sitting in a corner, away from everyone else who was laughing and having a good time. Maybe laughing and having a good time was the issue; maybe I was being set apart from everyone for a reason.
Yesterday, I spent my time searching for the gifts I’ve received from being set apart. I know I’ve grown in ways I never would have if I had always leaned on a friend to navigate things for me. I’ve been able to put lots of time and effort into my business that I wouldn’t have been able to do otherwise. I am starting to appreciate time alone, especially on my back porch, listening to the birds chirp and the occasional deer that wander through the yard.
I feel like the Lord has set me apart, and I’m still learning all the reasons why. The best part…I’ve been set apart – not set aside!
To GOD Goes The Glory!
Have A Blessed Day!
Dear Tania
I have really struggled with the same issue. Although I’m an extrovert, my close friends are all married or engaged. I’m divorced, 62 and want to remarry, but I won’t settle. I have been reading a great book by Lisa Terkeurst, called Uninvited, when you feel left out, less than, and lonely. I can’t recommend this book enough.
Mischelle💕
I love Lisa Terkeurst. I’ll need to read this book.
I love this! You put into words what so many of us ladies feel! Sometimes we need to be alone, set still & let the Lord mold us.
Oh Tania, this was such a surprising post from you! You are so successful and you reach out to so many people every day and you have a very close family and a loving husband and to me you are the picture of outgoing and successful and brave! I too have lost two very close friends in the past couple years and it was very very hard. I too question God and asked him why and felt like I’d done something wrong. I prayed about it for a long time but he told me to let go and I have. lately one of them has been reaching out to me very slightly and I realize that maybe she was more important to me all along than I was to her and that must be the lesson the Lord was teaching me. I so appreciate your sincere post and sharing yourself with us. God is good and he has always there for us.
I love your message. I too feel set apart from others. I divorced 20 years ago. That was a lesson in itself. I learned I am a lot stronger than I thought and I have continued to learn daily what it’s like to be alone. I’m lucky I have a wonderful daughter to hang with when I’m in need of some company. I also have two lovely friends that are there for me.
Good thought. Set apart for service. You are!